📊 Pitch Deck Translations: Volume 5

“You can’t spell ‘deck’ without ‘eck.’”

💬 Slide: “We’re a Platform for Possibility.”

🧨 Translation: We don’t actually know what we built yet.

This is the marketing equivalent of shrugging in Helvetica Neue.

💬 Slide: “Trusted by Industry Leaders”

🧨 Translation: We had one beta tester and added their logo without asking.

There’s a 30% chance the logo is from an agency the founder’s cousin used to work for.

💬 Slide: “From MVP to Market Leader”

🧨 Translation: We updated the landing page and made a TikTok.

The “market” in question is three indie devs and one Reddit mod who said “nice.”

💬 Slide: “Built with Scalability in Mind”

🧨 Translation: We slapped on AWS and prayed.

You know it’s scalable because it crashes just as fast at 100 users as it does at 1.

💬 Slide: “Revenue-Ready Architecture”

🧨 Translation: There’s a Stripe test key in our repo and we think that counts.

“Revenue-ready” is startup speak for “we googled monetization once.”

💬 Slide: “Join Our Mission”

🧨 Translation: We don’t offer health insurance, but we do have a Notion doc full of dreams.

Every startup with this line is one missed payroll cycle away from becoming a DAO.

💬 Slide: “Built by Founders Who’ve Been There”

🧨 Translation: We failed a startup before. Now we’re louder.

Experience is great. So is trauma. This slide promises both.

Time to Slide Into Honesty

Stop sugarcoating your startup pitch. Say what you mean with HonestTaglines.com—the only AI branding tool that knows what your VC deck really sounds like.

“We pivoted twice and called it agility.”
“Low churn. Mostly because no one signed up.”
“Your next favorite tool to ignore after onboarding.”

👉 Roast your brand the right way

Because one day, your pitch deck might get funded. But your slogan? That’s what people screenshot.