The 5 Worst Startup Slogans Ever (And Our Brutal Fixes)

Because “empowering digital solutions” doesn’t mean anything, Brad.

Startups love slogans. Short. Punchy. Aspirational. Confusingly vague. And usually indistinguishable from every other “disruptive” brand in their seed round group chat.

We found 5 of the most tragically real startup slogans—and we’re giving them a much-needed honesty injection, courtesy of HonestTaglines.com.

1. “Making Tomorrow Happen, Today.”

The Problem: Time travel? A productivity tool? A multilevel marketing scheme?

Our Fix: “Trying to hit deadlines we caused.”

2. “Revolutionizing Human Potential.”

The Problem: This could describe a meditation app or a biotech startup—or a cult.

Our Fix: “We made an app. It has push notifications.”

3. “Powering Possibility.”

The Problem: Literally sounds like an energy drink for business majors.

Our Fix: “Still in beta. Definitely not profitable.”

4. “Unlocking the Future of Connection.”

The Problem: You sell... routers?

Our Fix: “We made messaging more awkward. You're welcome.”

5. “Innovate. Elevate. Dominate.”

The Problem: Ah yes, the slogan equivalent of yelling “synergy” into a mirror.

Our Fix: “Buzzword-loaded. Investor-approved. Customer-confused.”

Want Your Slogan Roasted?

We get it. Branding is hard. But if your slogan sounds like it was written by a TED Talk on autopilot, you need help. Or at least a sense of humor.

That’s where HonestTaglines.com comes in.

It’s an AI-powered tool that creates brutally honest, satirically accurate slogans for any industry. Just plug in your product category and let it do what your PR team legally can’t.

👉 Try it now → HonestTaglines.com

Because your current slogan isn’t fooling anyone. Not even your investors.