đź“Š Pitch Deck Translations: Volume 2
“Decoding startup jargon one funded fantasy at a time.”
💬 Slide: “Traction: 500% YoY Growth”
🧨 Translation: We made $5 last year. We made $25 this year.
💬 Slide: “We’re not just another [category] company.”
🧨 Translation: We are 100% another [category] company.
💬 Slide: “Solving a real problem for real people.”
🧨 Translation: The founder had a mildly inconvenient Tuesday and turned it into a startup.
💬 Slide: “Backed by top-tier investors”
🧨 Translation: Someone who met Chamath once liked our LinkedIn post.
💬 Slide: “We’re lean, agile, and scalable.”
🧨 Translation: We laid off half the team and the backend is duct-taped together.
💬 Slide: “The market is ripe for disruption.”
🧨 Translation: We Googled an industry, added 'AI,' and hoped for the best.
💬 Slide: “Exit Strategy: Strategic Acquisition”
🧨 Translation: We hope Google gets bored and buys us out of pity.
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*Disclaimer: All pitch decks were harmed in the making of this post.*
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