💉 Slogan Rewriting Clinic: Volume 3
“You brought the tagline. We brought the truth serum.”
Welcome back to the world’s least official branding triage center. As always, we take slogans that were probably written under duress in a glass-walled office and give them the HonestTaglines.com treatment—meaning we translate them from Corporate™ into Coherent (and Cruel).
📢 Original Slogan:
“Create. Collaborate. Grow.”
💬 Honest Rewrite:
“Log in. Get pinged. Burn out.”
🧠 Commentary:
Somewhere out there, a SaaS product manager high-fived someone after writing this. “Grow” is doing a LOT of heavy lifting here for a platform that just changed their UI again.
📢 Original Slogan:
“Solutions that work for you.”
💬 Honest Rewrite:
“Terms and conditions apply.”
🧠 Commentary:
If your slogan could end with an asterisk and a 17-page PDF, it’s time to rethink. This is less a slogan and more a warranty disclaimer disguised as friendliness.
📢 Original Slogan:
“Think Big. Act Bold. Lead Forward.”
💬 Honest Rewrite:
“Shout vague commands. Hope for funding.”
🧠 Commentary:
This feels like someone tried to build a TED Talk out of three motivational posters. We’ve seen whiteboards with better vision.
📢 Original Slogan:
“Changing lives, one click at a time.”
💬 Honest Rewrite:
“We sell email software. Please calm down.”
🧠 Commentary:
Unless you’re curing disease or funding student debt relief, maybe dial down the pathos. Not every CTA is a revolution.
📢 Original Slogan:
“Making the world a better place through innovation.”
💬 Honest Rewrite:
“We invented an app to order more apps.”
🧠 Commentary:
This is the slogan equivalent of writing “world peace” in your OKRs and then launching a scheduling plugin. Stop it.
Submit. Suffer. Repeat.
Have a slogan you’re too afraid to show the internet?
We’ll take it. We’ll fix it. We’ll roast it.
Tag us on Pinterest, drop it on Twitter, or confess anonymously at HonestTaglines.com.
Or get roasted instantly by the AI that never pulls punches:
👉 Generate Your Brutally Honest Slogan
*Reminder: All rewrites are satire. Unless they’re better than your current one. In that case, you’re welcome.* 🔥
Related Posts
- 💉 Slogan Rewriting Clinic: Volume 2
- 💠🌐 Slogan Rewriting Clinic: Volume 1
- 📜 The Branding Manifesto Nobody Asked For
- 💬 Copywriters React to Brutally Honest Taglines
- 🪞 What Your Slogan Really Says About Your Brand
- 🧠 Why AI Is Better at Branding Than Most Founders
- The 5 Worst Startup Slogans Ever (And Our Brutal Fixes)
- Why Brutally Honest Marketing Works (Even When It Hurts)
- 7 Brands That Accidentally Nailed Honest Taglines
- How to Write a Tagline That Doesn't Suck (And Actually Sells)
- The Secret Weapon: Using Humor to Boost Trust in Marketing